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There are many potential pressures to face and overcome. Gay men of color face a dual challenge in managing social reactions and pressures from being both gay and people of color, and also gender expectations. When money issues arise in gay male relationships, I believe it’s because all American men (and elsewhere) are still, even in our oh-so-modern times, expected to the “breadwinners.” White men, especially of middle class or higher socio-economic status, are socialized to “getting their way,” enjoying a social privilege (whether they want it or not) among all demographics. It’s hard to find a gay male couple where issues of competition don’t come up, whether regarding physical appearance, social influence, or income. The sexism that women only earn a portion of what men earn, for the same work, extends to both gay men and straight men. Statistically, white men tend to be relatively high earners. Money – Gay male couples can have a lot of conflict around money.
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Note: “McInturff, Steve Book, Delaware O.1. Photo strip, undated, 35 x 27 mm, provenance: US, (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Photograph, 1951, 121 x 83 mm, note: “1951” “Davis & J.C.” (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Photograph, Undated, 96 x 67 mm (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions) Cabinet card, circa 1880, 167 x 109 mm, provenance: US, The book, Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s-1950s (5 Continents Editions), is available online. When we see them as connected, we feel more whole, and that’s what love is about for many of us anyway. Seeing ourselves in the past is as much about being certain of our present and, dare I say, our future. What do images of men in love during a time when it was illegal tell us? What are we looking for in the faces of these people who dared to challenge the mores of their time to seek solace together? Flipping through the book, it wasn’t that I felt that I learned a great deal about being LGBTQ, but what gave me comfort was the feeling that we’re not going anywhere. While the majority of the images hail from the United States and are of predominantly white men, there are images from Australia, Bulgaria, Canada, Croatia, France, Germany, Japan, Latvia, and the United Kingdom among the cache. The collection belongs to Hugh Nini and Neal Treadwell, a married couple who has accumulated over 2,800 photographs of “men in love” during the course of two decades. In Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s–1950s, hundreds of images tell the story of love and affection between men, with some clearly in love and others hinting at more than just friendship. Hunter” (image courtesy of the Nini-Treadwell Collection © “Loving” by 5 Continents Editions)Ī beautiful group of photographs that spans a century (1850–1950) is part of a new book that offers a visual glimpse of what life may have been like for those men, who went against the law to find love in one another’s arms. Postcard, circa 1910, 90 x 141 mm, note on front: “E.